Doubts

So here I sit. In tears. Unable to sleep. Again. Night 3. My mind won't turn off. Things I don't want to think about run through it. Am I doing the right thing? Am I uprooting my family from everything & everyone they know because *I'm* unhappy? Is that right? Is that fair?

I worry. I worry about Matthew. I love his school - he loves it too. What if it's horrible in Florida? What if he hates it? What if they're mean to him.

And my poor mom. She says she's all for this. Like she's got a choice. Really. We all know that she & Jill can't live together. So what are her other options? I'm really forcing this on her.

And the job. People think I'm confident, but I'm not. I can fake it - really well. I love most of my current co-workers. What if I don't find that there? What if. What if. What if.

The tears still roll. And I'm still awake. Fear strangling me.

Boxes & breakdowns

What an interesting post title, you say.... More about that later. But my accomplishments today? I did everything I wanted & MORE! I've been having such insomnia - like can't get to sleep before 6am. I'm not normally like that. Today I drug myself out of bed around 1pm for the day. My goals were to call about Matthew's medical records from Grand Island (check), followed up with HR to coordinate my visit to Orlando (check), exchange the tape at WalMart (bought the wrong kind yesterday), & take down and pack up all the Christmas crap (check). Plus I did a ton more packing. Not to mention Matthew & I played games this afternoon (in addition to my 'puter time).

While I was a packing fool I sent Matthew on "missions" to complete in his room. First mission, pare down the Webkinz. The kid was obsessed for a couple of years so he's got a ton. Now he plays only every once in a while. But he's got his mom in him & hates to part with things. I wanted him to make an initial paring down. Wow - was I surprised with what I got! The kid wants to donate every stuffed animal with the exception of 8 of his favorites - I can deal with that. And I didn't even have to nag. Same thing with his books. Brought me a huge pile for our trip to Half Price Books. Matthew even voluntarily brought me some other toys (a bunch of light sabers) that he "no longer plays with". One of the stuffed animals he chose to donate kind of got to me....brown bunny. Brown bunny has been with us for quite a long time. He appeared one Easter and has been well loved & worn - poor little thing is dirty and has to go to stuffed animal heaven.... But I snapped a last picture of our well-loved friend.

Finally, my sweet, dear friend, Saxon, induced a mini-breakdown. Oh, she didn't mean to freak me out, but she did. Just a reminder of all the things that need to be done is so overwhelming. It's going to be ok, but stressful none-the-less. I'll just be glad when this is all over and we are settled in our new place!

Holy packing supplies, batman!

So, I was able to get out today (with the aid of the maintenance man, but that's another story). First on the list? U-Haul. I needed boxes, plain wrapping paper, packing tape, scotch tape, & static cling wrap - desperately. Apparently a ton of people wanted to move in this crappy weather because there was quite a line. Matthew & I rounded up what we needed and promptly stood in line and waited. And waited. And waited.

It was worth it. I did some power packing today. And now, I present to you..... Mount Florida. BWHAHAHAHA! The living room is almost done. I've got a few things on the bookshelves to go through, then I need to pry open the TV stand (I kinda lost the key before our last move & a TON of stuff is packed in there making it UBER heavy), then on to the Christmas stuff. Oh & the walls. Down the pictures need to come. Ok, so maybe the living room *isn't* almost done, but I'm pleased with my mini-progress. LOL!

On the list for tomorrow? I *have* to call the GI Clinic & start the medical records process. It's gonna take awhile since the records are from 1999-2002. Also, I need to get the Christmas tree down & all the holiday stuff packed. Oh, *that* will make Mount Florida really HUGE!! Today I emailed Beth at Florida Hospital to let her know when I would be there for my visit & when I would prefer to start orientation. I also followed up with the property management company. If they don't respond again soon I'll have to start looking for another one that wants my business. I think those are some pretty lofty - yet attainable - goals for tomorrow. :)

Boxes, boxes everywhere....

I'm drowning in them. Did I mention I *hate* to move? Did I mention that I *hate* to move in the WINTER time? Doh - I'm so stupid for planning it at this time. But, then again, it really found me. And, I can't complain.... I can only be thankful for what's to come. Except when I'm packing. Then I'm not very thankful. LOL! But, I *will* be purging & decluttering. We're selling Matthew bed & bedroom set. He's ready for a new mattress (either Full or Queen size) and there's no way I'm going to pay to move it. Craigslist here I come!!

First up - the living room. I've been packing up some "pretties" that I don't really need. I do need more boxes, so I've got to get out tomorrow for boxes, tape, more bubble wrap, & packing paper. Fun times. Then go the scrapbooks. I have some empty ones that I'll be Craigslisting or Ebaying since I do the Shutterfly thing now. I hope to have the living room finished before I go to work on Wednesday. I *know* I can do it!! Then I'll be headed on to the kitchen. Gonna live on plastics til we move. BWHAHAHAHAHA!

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming....

My artsy fartsy Christmas photos!

So, I was trying to get some good pics for scrapping - and I think I actually did! :) Enjoy!

A background... During my early adulthood I was very matchy-matchy with my Christmas trees. I had themes/colors. It was organized. No "unmatched" Christmas ornaments were allowed. And when people asked me what would happen when I had children and they brought home the ornaments that they lovingly made at school I would reply that they could have their own Christmas tree - in another room. Wow, how times change. Now I love pulling all of the old ornaments out & remembering when we bought them & what they commemorate. Plus, searching for the perfect ornaments to capture our year is fun too! And what did we choose this year? There are 3 different ones. You'll sense a theme, LOL!

The first ornament celebrates our impromtu (& super fun) family trip to Mall of America. Yes, I said "family" trip - as my mom finally agreed to come along. We had so much fun on our road trip to the Twin Cities and proved to mom that she can still travel - even given all of her new limitations. Matthew especially enjoyed the Lego Store and we even ate dinner at the Rainforest Cafe - YUM! Matthew chose this glass ornament while we were shopping especially for the tree.

The other 2 new ornaments have to do with our first Disney cruise. Matthew & I go to Disney - a lot (which will be a weekly occurance in the near future - YAY!) In December 2008 we jealously watched a large group of people get on the Disney Cruise bus as we were waiting to get on the Magical Express to go home. We lamented how awesome it would be to go on a cruise after spending a week at Disney. I didn't know if it was feasible financially, but I vowed to check it out. And I did - as soon as we got home I priced cruises - and thank goodness they were within the budget! So in October 2009, after a glorious 8 days at Disney World, *we* got to board the Disney Cruise bus and go on our great adventure. On the ship there was a gorgeous glass ornament of the ship. On Disney's private island, Castaway Cay, they had their own glass ornament (shown above). I get all warm & nostalgic just thinking about it. :)

Finally, here are some present shots. We were very blessed this year (i.e. momma found some good sales!!!) Matthew wanted Bionicles & Legos again this Christmas. So Christmas morning it looked like the Lego company threw up Bionicles all over our living room. That's what happens when you find sales & clearance on the Bionicle guys! I even got a last minute 50% sale on one of the large Bionicle sets - go me!!

We are blessed - in more ways than one. Hope you had a great Christmas too!

So, I'm going to give this blogging thing another try...

....it's fun to go back & read about what happened last year. Plus it'll be a good way for my friends to see what's going on with me once I leave. Leave? What? Wait a minute. Yep, that's right. I'm leaving. A lot of people never thought I would. But I had a mini-break-down over Thanksgiving. I wasn't happy. I won't go into the work-stuff, but I NEEDED a change - desperately.

So on a whim I applied for a couple of jobs online near my favorite place - Orlando! Imagine my SHOCK when I got a phone call from the HR Nurse Recruiter the next morning. After playing phone tag for a week, I finally got her on the phone. All went well and the hospital sounded just like what I wanted!! I did a phone interview & was offered a position shortly thereafter. I still have to go down there to formalize things, but the job is mine. I head down 1/11/10 and then we are moving at the end of January. Forget that I don't quite have a place for us to live, but hopefully the perfect place will fall in my lap! It'll work out. God has been telling me for WEEKS that this was the right decision!!

So....I'm leaving the blizzardy midwest to become an official snowbird. I think I can handle that. LOL!!

Christmas is finished. We were blizzarded in. Jill & Tim weren't able to make it in from Gretna, so it was just our little ole' family. I'm still not sure I could make it out of the apartment complex if I wanted to. And I've started packing my first box. I gave myself til after Christmas. Now I have no excuses. LOL!!

So much to do this next month....